Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
