I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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