i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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