first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
