im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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