In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
