the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
