We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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