Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
