whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
