Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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