Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
