my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
