i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
