He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
