all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
