Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
