i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
