You really coming over, don't trick.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize