God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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