is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i think im in europe. pls send help
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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