You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
