Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
