There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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