If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
