Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
