Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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