i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
