Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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