U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
