shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
