When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
