Where is the hickey?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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