Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
