When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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