from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
