I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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