I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
