You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
