I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just had sex bonerless
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
