I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
