She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
