and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
