New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
