thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Terrible idea I love it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize