After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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