Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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