Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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