according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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