I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
