They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
