yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
as a side note pls kill me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
