Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
