best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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