She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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