The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
