Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize